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Marina, my online alter ego on a popular adult webcamming site, is the new and improved “me.” She dazzles men with discussions of Indo-European languages while seducing them with her perky derriere, bending over before the camera to reach for her pen, with which she scrawls on a memo pad: The afternoon that I was placed on Performance Probation, I left work early.Riding the N train back to Queens, I quietly wept upon the sympathetic cashmere shoulder of Ann Taylor and brainstormed responses to my imminent dismissal. I remembered a conversation I had several months earlier with an acquaintance, whose ex-girlfriend, he claimed, made a decent living as a camgirl. ” I asked him, familiar with the phenomenon only through sidebar Internet advertisements claiming that Jessie19, conveniently located in my neighborhood, wanted to fuck, like, “Well,” he said, “usually they just strip, tease and get themselves off in front of guys online in exchange for money and gifts.At my annual employee review, my boss placed me on “Performance Probation,” citing at least five or six reasons why I could not be trusted with so much as a stapler.She added that in spite of my attempts to I now think, staring at the unlikely reflection of a smoky-eyed 25-year-old woman in my lipstick-strewn bathroom.At best, I completed simple administrative tasks, such as printing paper and hoarding Post-its, with mild competence.I relished these peaceful moments, for the majority of the time I felt more like a 2-year-old filing estate taxes with crayons.My parents were proud of me, and I was proud that they were proud of me.Convinced that I was doing the “right thing,” I spent a year botching Excel spreadsheets and crying in office bathroom stalls.

Many, in fact, are successful professionals in their field – whether it be law, the arts or academia.” asked Oldn Fat1 – a user who deserves kudos for his realism. Neither here nor there,” I said instinctively before correcting myself, “but I still have my panties on, so let’s get them off and see what I feel like after!” Much to my surprise, I was infinitely more embarrassed to call my underwear “panties” than I was to remove them.I began leaving the office sharply at 5 p.m., applying my makeup on the subway ride home and often skipping dinner in order to log online faster.I broadcast my webcam show until 10 or 11 p.m., then rolled into bed exhausted, exhilarated and up to 0 richer.

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